Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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