I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
