I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
