Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
