There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
