you mean i was at the winter classic?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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