Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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