she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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