it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Drunk is a universal language darling
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
