the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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