i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
