The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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