and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
