I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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