Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
