there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize