It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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