Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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