No, you can still breathe under the balls.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize