Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
