Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He better not be in your backpack
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
