what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
