just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
