I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
