I must be too annoying 4 u.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
