I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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