my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize