at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize