Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize