I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
