i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
