So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
