The maid of honor just puked.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
