Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize