I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize