Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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