Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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