I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
