She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
