You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
