and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
