my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
