she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
