he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
