How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
