which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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