i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
