I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize