Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
