brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
