mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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