I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
