1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
