I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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