My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
