For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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