The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
