I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
