No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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