I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
