Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
