Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?

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(805): View more from California

Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'

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(509): View more from Washington

somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.

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(989): View more from Michigan

What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.

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