One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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