I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
thus making me awesome and them whores
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
