haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I forget how to act sober
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
