I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you traded sex for a burrito?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
