I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize