I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
