dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize